Month: April 2013

The search for my biological parents began February 21, 2013. About a week later, there was such a huge response and I received so many messages, I decided the best way to keep up with everyone was to begin a blog.  I posted many lengthy updates over the next year. When I decided I wanted to start my blog again, it seemed like a good idea to condense all those posts into one. Please enjoy…

March 1, 2013

I have over 3,000 shares on my Facebook post from places as far away as Australia. I have received countless messages of support, encouragement, and advice. Although I’ve received many offers from those wishing to help in my search, I have no real leads yet.

I have contacted the adoption agency and signed a release so if my parents come looking for me, they will be allowed to see my information.

 

March 6, 2013

A wonderful, selfless volunteer has been tirelessly searching through records, phone books, newspapers, etc. I emailed her a copy of my paperwork, and she noticed a detail I had previously missed – my first mother’s birthdate – August of 1956 (the day was blacked out). Realizing she would have been 24 years old when I was born and not 23 like I originally thought, I updated the caption of my picture.

Another Facebook friend, Dana Goolsby, wrote an article about my search for her online magazine called My East Texas (MYETX.com). She linked back to my blog and included my email and the note to my birth mother. I am so grateful for the extra exposure and her kind words!

And the most exciting update – A reporter with CBS in Tyler saw my poster being passed around Facebook and contacted me. He wants to do an interview in Tyler this Friday morning! I’m terrified, but I need as much exposure as possible, and I could reach so many people this way! Someone out there must know something.

 

Mar 9, 2013

Yesterday was my interview with Anthony Austin at CBS 19 in Tyler. We arrived at the news station and met Anthony. I had been too nervous to talk to him on the phone (And yet, I agreed to talk to him on TV!? I know, I’m a complicated individual), so this was my first time talking to him. He was so warm and kind, he made me feel very comfortable. In fact, everyone we met at the station was friendly! I got a mic (so cool) and then we sat down for the interview. I was nervous at first, but I think it went well. They did a wonderful job editing the video and I love the way it turned out. I am so grateful to Anthony and everyone else at CBS 19 who worked to get my story out there. Thank you so much for your help!

For anyone who missed it, here are the videos:

https://youtu.be/dlImAprReMo

https://youtu.be/pthsuF79hHo

 

Mar 31, 2013

Feeling discouraged. Unfortunately, my TV appearance led to no new leads or information. However, I have been made aware of the process needed to get my original birth certificate! Overall, it will take about six weeks or so to get the information.

 

Apr 12, 2013

Still no new leads, still waiting on information, still very discouraged. Meanwhile, I confided in a friend who suggested contacting another more popular news station in Tyler, KLTV 7. I just got a response from a reporter yesterday, and she wants to do an interview on Monday! This station reaches more people than the previous one, so hopefully it will be more successful.

 

Apr 29, 2013

I was not prepared for how emotional this search would be. This whole process is really taking a toll on my health and my family. I need to take a break from everything.

About a month ago, I sent out a request to the adoption agency for my records. That should arrive in the mail any day now. It will be non-identifying information ONLY, but it should still contain more clues than I have now. (Update 3/5/2017 – I never received this information, even after paying the agency $$$ for its release.)

Also, it turns out, get my original birth certificate is NOT as easy and simple as I was led to believe. First, I had to send a letter to find the identity of the court. It took two weeks to receive a response basically telling me, “Call this number for detailed instructions.” My husband called, only to find out I have to actually show up to court in person! The court will (hopefully) give me an order directing the Department of State Health Services to open the file. Then I will have to mail a certified copy of the order, and THEN they will open my records and mail them to me. The good news is, I know what to do now. The bad news is, it’s not happening any time soon. So I’m filing the letter away, and the information will be on the back burner for now.

(To Be Continued…)

Thank you to everyone who has written me! I’m sorry I cannot respond to each of you individually. It’s been difficult for me to keep up with all of the comments, Facebook messages, and emails I receive. (I think that’s pretty awesome, by the way. I LOVE the support! You will never know how much it means to me.)

I have been getting lots of the same questions/comments lately, so I decided to address them here. I’ll try to keep the answers short, sweet, and easy to read, but it will be difficult because I love to talk (uh… type).

1. “Can you help me find my family?”
I wish I could. I am no expert. I am relying on volunteers and Facebook shares to help me. You can also look into online registries (many are free), and there are also lots of Facebook groups dedicated to helping adoptees find their families. If you want, you can email me a picture and your information and I will gladly post about your search on my blog!

2. “Why don’t you just get your original birth certificate?”
It’s not that simple. I need to petition the court first, and then it will take about six weeks before I will receive it. I have sent a request to find out which court handled my adoption, and as of this date, I’m still waiting on a response. Of course, even if I do receive my original birth certificate, my search will not be over.

3. “Have you registered at…?”
Yep. I have signed up with pretty much every online registry out there. At least, the free ones. And I signed up on the Texas Voluntary Adoption Registry. Unfortunately, my birth family has to register, too, in order for them to work.

4. “Why don’t you hire a lawyer/private investigator/try Omnitrace, etc.?”
I have many volunteers working to help me. I have no intention of spending hundreds or thousands of dollars trying to track someone down who might not even want to be found.

5. “Have you tried Troy the Locator?”
This one has earned its own separate answer because I get asked this so often. I signed up with his registry and searched his website, but like I stated above, I’m not interested in paying anyone to find my family.

6. “Do you have any names?”
Not at the moment. I don’t know my parents’ names or my siblings’ names, first OR last. I don’t even know for sure how many siblings I have or whether they are brothers and/or sisters. (“Jessica Hernandez” is my adoptive name, not my original name.)

7. “Why don’t you just ask your adoptive parents?”
They have already given me all the information that they have.

8. “Doesn’t your adoption agency have all this information?”
I’m sure they do, but since mine is a “closed” adoption, all they can give me is the non-identifying information.

9. “Can the agency find your birth parents for you?”
Yes, for $150 per person. I did sign up with their registry though, so if my birth parents contact them looking for me, they will release my information.

10. “What if they don’t want to be found?”
Then they won’t contact me. And if I find them, I’m sure they will let me know that they don’t want contact. This is not a reason to stop searching for who I am and where I come from.

11. “You should just be grateful you are adopted.”
Or “You’re REAL family is the one who raised you.”
Or even “Why do you care about your [first] mother when she threw you away like garbage?”
Yes, I’ve literally been called “garbage.”
Comments like these are unhelpful & unnecessary. Do not assume you know me, my feelings toward my adoption, or my relationship with my adoptive parents, even if you read my blog. It’s important to know that even though there are happy adoption stories out there, many adoptees did not grow up in happy homes. So don’t assume you know someone’s family better than they do.

Thankfully, for the most part, everyone has been extremely kind. I have had so many amazing messages of support, encouragement, and LOTS of advice I can actually use! In fact, I would not be where I am now in my search without the volunteers who are helping me. I am extremely grateful for all of you!

Anyway, that’s it for now. If you have a question that isn’t listed here, let me know and I’ll try to answer as best I can.